Learning Lessons

        I need to start off by saying that I am truly so blessed.  I have an amazing family, boyfriend, and job.  However, I need to learn not to forget these many blessings in the face of adversity.  I also need to remember the past is the past it can not be changed.
        I guess I will start with my biggest hang up with past....choices Roy and I have made.  For anyone that knows me knows that the past few months have been beyond rough for Roy and I.  It got to the lowest it had ever been which ultimately lead to our break up and cancellation of our wedding.  To this day if Roy and I try to talk about it I end up crying.  I don't wear my ring anymore and there is no June wedding.  I should be doing all kinds of wedding planning right now but instead I just cry about a wedding.  Not only that my stomach turns at the thought of even having to go to a wedding.  It doesn't help that 2 cousins are getting married in July and in August.  In retrospect us breaking up was the best thing for us.  We were not a good couple anymore and honestly I think we had to completely break to realize things needed to be fixed.  Now we have fixed things and things are probably better then they have ever been.  I think that is part of what makes me so upset about us not getting married in June is the fact that we are so good right now.  Also, this morning I realized that had we been getting married in June Roy would have had to use his vacation time for that.  Well, Roy hurt his back like 3 weeks ago and since then has had to use all his vacation time.  This reminds how I need to put more faith in God's plans because there are reasons for everything.
         Lately the major thing that I let cloud my gratefulness for my many blessings would be money.  I understand what a trivial thing money is but unfortunately it is something I can't ever stop worrying about.  Roy and I have a BEAUTIFUL big house which we bought thinking it would be ok if we struggled the first year or so because Roy was supposed to be in line at his job for the manager program.  However, after a year later Roy is still running dairy departments with no sign even for being picked to start manger training.  It makes me so frustrated with his job.  It actually makes me hate his job.  Then when I left my job as a teacher I took a pay cut not very much but still a pay cut.  I just hate having to live paycheck to paycheck and using almost every cent of it.  When I want to do something extra or something unexpected comes up there is typically no money for it.  Like right now we both have a total of a few thousand dollars in medical bills we can't pay (bye bye good credit), Roy's window is cracked, and we need shingles replaced on the roof plus a patch in the wall where there was water damage.  I understand we are blessed to be able to pay our regular bills and even have such a great house.  I am just ready to not have to struggle as much financially.  However, I read a quote yesterday thanks to pinterest pretty much saying God doesn't move you until its time because the struggles up ahead might be a lot harder right now.
        So I'm really just trying to learn how to put more faith and trust in God.  So any suggestions on how to do that would be greatly appreciated.  Now it is time for me to go to bed so I can hopefully get up and treadmill it up in the morning!  Sweet Dreams Ya'll!!!

What A Gloriously Crazy Week

         Another week in 2012 is over with and what a week it was!!!  Since my last blog lots has been going on.  Probably the biggest news being....I'M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD for Spring Break!!!!  Oh yeah and it's for free!!!  The family I work for asked me to go with them and I was more then happy too!  Happy is not even the right word for it.  Roy wants to know what he will eat while I am gone.  Oh and have I mentioned lately how much I love my job and how grateful I am to have it!  Even though the kids were a little crazy this week I hardly even consider it a job.  It is just me and the kids having fun!  I even got to get crafty this week at work and made stuff for the older two kids!  While working this week I also got to go see Beauty and the Beast in 3d.  My favorite Disney movie of ALL time!  I need to see it at least two or three more times before it leaves the theaters.  So if you want to go just call me.  (Roy is reading this over my shoulder and says you can only go with me if you are a girl.  NO GUYS!)
       I also went to another basketball game at the FedEx Forum during the week.  The game I look forward to every year NY Knicks vs the MEM Grizzlies.  However, I left the game VERY disappointed.  The Grizz pretty much put a whopping on my Knicks :(  It was horrible I still can't believe I even watched that game.  I don't even believe that the Knicks were even there.  However, I enjoyed spending the night with almost all the family.  We even tried a new restaurant, Dyers Burgers Downtown.  Everyone seemed to have a great time.
       With things being as crazy as they were I didn't exercise the way I should have.  I need to start putting my phone where I can't reach it so I actually have to get out of the bed to turn it off.  Getting out of bed is the hardest part in the morning.  Eating was also a major challenge this week and I have come to the conclusion that mother nature was to blame for the crazy eating.  I still made our healthy meals it was just a lot of snacking in between that killed me.  So I was more then relieved this morning when I went to WW and only gained .4 pounds.  I still feel super dedicated probably even more so after this crazy past week.  Have a great menu lined up for this up coming week and excited to try some great recipes.  I feel like I cook sooo much more now that we are eating healthy and I love it.  For example today I cooked strawberry whole wheat pancakes for breakfast, leftovers for lunch, crock pot chicken with fresh corn on the cob and spinach, and then for dessert I made a WW peanut butter brownie.  I love tasting everything new!
      To finish out the craziness of the week Roy is still home from work with an injured back.  I know he is so frustrated about not being able to work (or he says he is anyway ;) ) and it stressed me out because I worry about paychecks majorly (probably more then I should).  However, so far everything seems to be working out and he goes back to the doctor on Monday so fingers crossed for good news.  On the plus side having him home has its benefits for sure!  One being I don't have to worry about Perry (the cutest puppy in the world) half as much since I know Roy is there with him all day.  Also, Roy is super helpful with things around the house.  As long as I leave out a recipe and prep any veggies needed he will have dinner on the table or at least started before I get home from work.  I was super impressed the night I got home from work and as I was opening the door I could see him placing dinner on the table.  I just smiled.  I kind of feel like he has also been way less stressed since he has been out of work which makes things nicer also.
      Well, that is pretty much it for the week.  I'm praying for another great week and am so grateful for all my blessings.  I have a wonderful boyfriend, family, friends, and job!

A Lil Bit of Hungry!

      So this week has been busy like I expected but has been fun.  I have done 2 zumba workouts and 30 minutes on the treadmill so far this week.  I still can't always drag my butt out of bed in the morning to do the treadmill thing.  Eating healthy has been the BIGGEST challenge this week.  I am still trying new reciepes like right now I am currently eating Hungry Girls Give S'more Pancakes and they are AMAZING!  They are up there on my favorite things tried list.  Last night I had subway and for the first time ever put lettuce and onion on my sandwich instead of having a plain sandwich.  However even though I have been eating healthy and increasing my fruit and veg for some reason this week I am STARVING.  Like when I say I am starving I feel like I could eat a cow then come back for the horse.  No matter how much I eat I am starving and of course I am not always turning to the wonderful healthy food I should which now makes me really scared for WW on Saturday.  So does anyone know why this is happening or what I can do to stop it?!?  I have hypothesized it to be one or all of three things.  First idea its that time of the month and my body has just gone crazy.  Second idea I am intentionally eating stuff to boost my metabolism so now I'm more hungry.  Third idea I am working out more so I am more hungry (however I do not really feel like I am working out intensely enough for it to change my appetite).
       So in nonhealthy eating news I am still LOVING my job.  Since all the kids are at school and day care I now don't have to go in till 10 which is AMAZING!  Roy and I went to a Grizzlies game last night since he won tickets from ESPN radio with his vast sports knowledge.  However, ESPN must not have been that impressed with his sports knowledge because the tickets were HORRIBLE!  We were like 11 rows from the top of the forum.  Well I just looked at the time and I need to get steppin'!  Hope everyone has an amazing day!

A Healthier Mindset

So for the past 9 days I have really been trying to be overall more healthy.  I have probably tried more new food and recipes this week then I probably did in all of 2011.  I start every morning off with a glass of hot green tea and usually a new recipe from hungry girls 300 under 300.  This morning its Sweet and Savory Breakfast Bread Pudding.  That book has been glued at my hip lately.  I always start with green tea to get my metabolism going.  Then lunch can be a variety of things but I always try to have some kind of greens with it.  Snacks are fresh fruits or 100 calorie packs.  I get dinner recipes form a variety of places including things I have always made, hungry girl 300 under 300, and weightwatchers.com.  With my first week of eating healthy I lost 2 pounds.  The thing I am having the hardest time with is getting my bootay up every morning to get on the treadmill.  However, waking up 3 times a morning is still more then I was doing a week ago.  I missed my morning workout today but should still get to do my afternoon workout.  This week is crazy so I am a little worried about eating healthy and getting workouts in.  I have a plan just have to make sure I stick with it.  I don't think I have ever been as motivated as I am right now to get healthy.  I truly feel like I am a great place. I am not doing this just because I want to lose weight.  I am doing this because I want to learn how to be healthier me.  Only draw back to all this healthy eating the grocery bill is CRAZY every week.  I may have to take up gardening this summer :)  Well I hope everyone has a great Monday and I'll type more later!

A New Start to a New Year

      For all of the Pinterest people you may have seen the pin that said 2011 will be the last fat year of my life.  Well, I have deiced to take that to heart.  So Sunday before Roy, Mikey, and I went grocery shopping I made a menu for the week including breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  I used lots of recipes from one of the hungry girl cookbooks and  weight watchers online.  Somethings have been REALLY good (HG monkey business, WW lemon berry cornbread, and WW sausage and pepper pasta).  I am trying to do things different this year including being open to trying more foods.  I even ate the onions and peppers in my pasta tonight.  I have also tried chocolate soy milk and green tea.  I was very pleased.  I think when we went to the grocery store we spent more money in the produce section then we ever have.  To help shed the pounds I have been listening to more music when doing work then watching TV while doing work.  When I listen to music I just naturally move more then when watching tv and I read fidgety people tend to be skinnier then their counterparts.  So I can be ok being a fidgety person.  Tonight I also did 32 minutes on the treadmill plus did the Monday workout I pinned in Pinterest under Work It Out.  I feel truly motivated to change and I hope I can keep up this motivation.  We will see how it goes tomorrow at work with the kids and the great snack pantry!  My plan for tomorrow is to wake up at 5:45 get on the treadmill for 30 minutes then shower and all that good morning stuff.  Then after work I plan on doing Zumba on the wii.
        I also cleaned up the house for the new year.  I still have to do my office which I think will be a weekend experience next weekend.  Today the big undertaking was moving Mikey's playroom upstairs.  It took all afternoon but is now done.  It looks amazing if I do say so.  There are pictures on my facebook.  It has been a very productive 3 day weekend and I'm excited about what lies ahead!