Thankful Doesn't Even Cover It

Over the past month many people have taken to Facebook to share 30 things they are thankful for.  Well I saw some friends had taken to bloggin about it and I thought that was a great idea bc I wasn't sure that one status a day could hold all my many blessings.  The only drawback is I'm sure by doing this all in one night I will forget somethings but it doesn't change how I feel about them.  So anyways here are the things I am thankful for (or at least some of them anyway)....

Mama - I am so grateful for the relationship that we have formed over the years and no words could ever describe my love for you

Gram - U are my second mama and play a huge part in who I am today.  Which I know you tell me is not always a good thing but I believe it is because you are one of the most amazing people I have ever known.  I appreciate being lucky enough to have such a close bond with you.  

Bill - For never loving me as anything less then your own and all of the random, deep conversations had through the year

Dad- Though our relationship has never been the greatest you showed up when I needed you most 

Will & Sam - growing up with you two has for sure had its ups and downs but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I cant imagine having to go through life without 

Mikey - you have my heart and will always be my lil buddy.  life completely changed the day you were born and I believe you have thought me more about love then anyone else.  

God's Plan - I have really had to put a lot of faith in everything happens for a reason the past few months and have become so much more open and accepting of this.  God's plan is best so let go let God as I was always told.  

My Past - It has completely shaped who I am today with the ups and downs

My Life at Present - It is pretty darn fabulous!

My Future - Excite to see what is in store for me.

Friends - I was never someone who kept up with friends a lot or even hung out with them too often but now I cant imagine life without them.  I have made some amazing friends and grown closer to ones I've known a while.  Some have become like second mamas and sisters to me.  I know through good and bad they have my back.  I know I don't do the best job with always keeping up with everyone but I am always happy and grateful to hear from friends.

J. Rainey - Although you fall under the friend bubble you are so much more.  You are my soul mate friend, my sister from another mama.  I can NOT imagine these past few months without you and I know whatever roads are in store for us we will always be together traveling them.

Dan McGuinness Southaven- without this place I would not have met some of the most wonderful people ever 

My Job - I have a job that I beyond absolutely love.  I get to play with kids who I have grown to love, go shopping, go on trips, and tons of other fun things.  I am blessed for sure!

My Bosses - Not only do I have a job that I love but I have bosses at my job that I love.  They have made me feel like part of the family.  

The Good Times - they make life worth living :)

The Bad Times - Without the bad times there is no way I could appreciate the good times nearly as much as I should

Tears of happiness - only until recently did I this become something I understood.  I never got how people could cry because they were happy.  But now I have moments when I feel so happy, full, complete etc that I am just overcome and the only thing left to do is cry.  I am very thankful to understand and experience these kind of tears.

Laughter - there is nothing like hearing laughter (esp children's) and the feeling in your stomach when laughing 

Music - it is amazing that something can make me stand up and want to dance and the next minute sit down on the verge of tears.  Sometimes when I maybe felt slightly hopeless about the whole love thing I would hear a song that would just so get it I knew that there was really no reason to feel hopeless.

Dancing - it just makes me happy.  I prob dance everyday weather I'm out with friends or dancing around the house. 

Happiness - Just being able to wake up and know I am happy.  

Knicks - For having a winning season so far this year, fingers crossed that continues 

Guys - from the good to the bad they have all taught me a lesson about myself ultimately making me a stronger person

Sense of Self - As of late I have become much more aware of who I am.  I am thankful for that understanding and just being so comfortable with who that person is.  

Random Text Messages - they always bring a smile to my face 

Perry - for your companionship even though I at times feel I'm undeserving of it 

c25k - for the guidance and guilt it provides 

My Car - it gets me where I need to go and has a functioning radio.  Nothing like driving with the windows down and the music up 

My Bathtub - it has helped me to learn to relax.  nothing like a warm bath after a log day 

My House - even though it is at times is a source of huge stress at the end of the day I am a single 26 year old who owns a gorgeous 4 bedrooms 2.5 bathrooms house where Thanksgiving always takes place.

So those are just some of the things I could think of for tonight.  I hope everyone had a thankful November.

June Fun

     Can you believe it is already July?!?  I know I can't!  June has for sure had its ups and downs. Lets just talk about some of the fun had in June.  However, I can't discuss the fun I have without talking about my partner and crime J. Rainey!  More fun is always had when she's around and as for friends no one understands me like her...its a Jessica thing :)  June nights include Thursday lady's nights at Dan McGuiness.  Where we meet up with Patti, Barbara, and Courtney for $2 drinks and an AMAZING band!  Which of course equals lots of laughing and dancing.  Then there has also been trips to 152 on Beale.  One of my absolute favorite places to dance.  Plus we know the best bartender there!  As for our trips for 152 that's all I will say about that because you just need to be there.  During June my dad also came to visit from NY and the twins turned 25.  Happy Birthday Twins! Then the most exciting thing that probably happened in June was getting to see Lady A, Darius Rucker, and Tompson Square in concert!!! It was amazing and of course super hot.  I love getting to hear live music especially by some of my favorite people!  Well, that's just some of the fun that was had in June.
      

To My Next Boyfriend....

Dear Next Boyfriend though we have yet to meet (or we have met and I just don't know it) here are somethings that I hope you can be because honestly I do feel I deserve at least this from a significant other.  


Please don't make me wait months before you can afford to take me out.  Actually if this happens I will be smarter this time and I won't actually get in a relationship with you.  


Don't ever ask me to pay your bills I won't.  Be a man handle your business.  


Next boyfriend you should know that I am a very passionate person and once in a while just won't cut it.   


If your friends dis you because they don't particularly like me bc of something I can't control like lets say my blue eyes.  If this bothers you enough that you feel the need to pick friends or your new gf please decide then and there if you are really willing to no longer have those friends or not have me.  I will not ask you to pick.  But if you do decide to pick don't pick me and then down the road when things don't work out as we planned say omg I can't believe I let these friends go for her.  You actively made that choice to let those friends go even though I will question your choice to let your friends go many times.  


Don't change because of me, change because you want to grow and become a better man.  When people comment on the change you have made don't compliment me on helping you to be a better man especially if in the end you are just going to hate me for it.  Don't  write cards to me about it and how this man you have become is so great and you are so grateful for our relationship because I make you better.  Also, once you hate me for this change don't say you were changing to make me happy especially if your failing miserably at making me happy.  Also, by changing to a person that you and I both don't particularly like you just cheated us both out of a relationship. 


Next boyfriend if we get to the point where we live together I will never look at you as cleaning our house, mowing the lawn, etc as a gift to me.  I will look at it as your doing part of your adult responsibilities.  Will I appreciate the help?  Oh heck yes but its not a gift.

Also, dear new boyfriend if for some reason we don't work out please be a man about breaking up with me. Don't check out of our relationship and just stick around until one day you cant take it anymore. Then just up and leave without so much as a goodbye.  Be respectful enough of me and what we had to at least say goodbye.  Not only is running away disrespectful to me its hurtful to everyone who loved you.

Finally, if you do decide to do any of these things I don't ever want to hear that you will always love me because to me it is just another lie that we can add to what our relationship was.  After all not being yourself in hopes of making someone else happy just makes you a big phony.  And ultimately that would make our whole relationship nothing but a lie.  Now, since I will forever question what in our relationship was real or not sometimes when I get to missing my friend not my new x boyfriend but the friend I THOUGHT I had made during the relationship I won't text you as bad as I want to.  I'll see something funny and I'll want to tell my friend about that but actually you may not be my friend and believe it or not I'm not even sure if you truly would find it funny cuz maybe that was all part of the lies.  Actually, come to think of it you might even decide to wish all kinds of horrible crap on me and I guess that's not really a very good friend either.  I will remind myself of this hate when I miss you.

Also, I have one last request for my next boyfriend that I understand I truly have no control over this last request because our relationship will be officially over and you are free to do what you want.  But if you could at least pretend  that our relationship meant something and not talk about another female less the 2 months after we break up I'd appreciate it.  I'm not asking you not to date and whatever but to talk about one person over and over especially saying things you use to say to me that would probably be the nicest thing you could do.   However, like I said before I understand you are now my next ex boyfriend and you no longer have any care or concern for me so this request will more then likely fall on deaf ears.  However, when you do decide to date or whatever it is you want to call it with this new girl it will further make me question our relationship.  I will question things like how long were you checked out of our relationship that you can already be that close to someone else.  Or is it you had already started this new relationship and that was what helped you just walk out.

So next boyfriend I'm not sure when we will meet but I hope you can be the man I need and deserve.  I will try my hardest to be the woman you need and deserve also.

Here It Is....

          Ok so lately I have been getting emails and questions about the status of Roy and my relationship so I am just gonna lay it all out here (well my side of it anyway since every story has two sides).  So no we are no longer together and actually Roy is back in Minnesota.  When everything happened to say I was shocked is probably a MAJOR understatement.  Seeing how not even two weeks before it happened I heard Jason Marz's song "I Won't Give Up" and thought wow this is totally Roy and I.  (oh and if you haven't heard that song you should totally listen to it).  So for everything to end less then 2 weeks later was heart breaking for me.  Honestly I am not even completely sure why it ended but I do know he was miserable and he felt he was doing what was best (at the time I couldn't comprehend any of that).                

          At first I was so mad at him to the point I felt like I hated him.  But I don't hate him at all and I don't regret anything over the past almost 4 years.  Now time is past and honestly I believe he was absolutely correct.  I didn't want to see it then because I hate change and maybe that's part of how we got as far as we did.  Since everything happened I feel like I have become more almost myself again.  It is weird I didn't notice how far from myself I had become.  He was such a huge part of my life for so long that I can't hate him and I have no ill feelings towards him.  I however don't really want to talk to him or know anything about him.  I have deleted him from my fb and twitter because I have completely closed that chapter in my life.  So rumor has it he has some pretty jerky stuff up and honestly I don't want to know about it.  So if you are a mutual friend of ours I just don't want to hear about it.

         So anyway that is just a little bit of what has been happening.

March

     Ok so I know I promised this blog like a week ago but better late then never right?  So March may have been the best month ever and I still have 4 more days of it to enjoy!   So last time I managed to blog I was still at my grandmas computer in NY.  Well, I finished up my trip with Mikey which felt like a whirlwind with being there just a few short days and no one knowing I was actually going to be there.  So other then eating delious food (Mikey even asked for Carvel last night), I got to spend time with some family and friends but def not enough of them!  I also took Mikey into the city one day (on the train of course).  We went to the Central Park Zoo and spent time in Time Square.  Michael's favorite part of course was "the big Toys R' Us."  When we left to come home it was pretty heart breaking seeing how Mikey cried the whole ride plus walk to the terminal becuase he was going to miss his best friend grandma.  I tried my hardest not to cry also.  It broke my heart to see him so upset and honestly I usually cry when I leave NY too and for the same reason. 

      After coming home I have just been trying to get back into the rountine of things which honestly has not been so successful .  I think part of it has to do with all the stuff that has been going on.  First my boss had her major grand opening of her store complete with petting zoo and train.  So Roy, Michael, and I went to that.  Also, if you haven't checked out her store yet you are missing out.  Jack Anna Beanstalk has some of the cutest children's clothes ever!  After the store opening I finally got to check out Gracie Bleu.  It sure was yummy.  My favorite flavor is peanut butter!  After the opening was the circus and not just any circus but Ringling Brothers!  It was probably one of the best times I have ever had at the circus.  There has also been soccer games inbetween.  Then last night I had a late night movie night with Roy.  We went and saw 21 Jumpstreet  and OMG it was rolling!  Even Roy said he couldnt believe how much I was laughing.  So you should also check that out!  Other then that I have pretty much just been working. 

Almost a month later

 First off sorry it has been like a month since my last blog.  I had a big surprise in the works and I knew if I blogged I would want to talk or I guess type about it but was scared someone would spill the beans about my surprise.  March has been absolutely fabulous!  Of course we started out the month with my 26th (ugh I'm getting old) birthday.  It was a wonderful night spent with my family with dinner at Kyoto's and ice cream cake at mom's.  I also received a ton of wonderful presents.  The next week flew by with preparation for my trip to Disney.  In case you didn't know the amazing family I work for brought me to Disney with them for part of Spring Break. 
     So last Friday we all boarded a plane and headed to Florida.  Once in Florida we did so many amazing things from character meals, dinner shows, and park hopping it was a wonderful time.  Oh, I can't forget to mention all the animal watching we did from our hotel balcony since we stayed at Animal Kingdom.  While at Disney we visited Epcot, Animal Kingdom, and The Magic Kingdom.  I had never been to Epcot or Animal Kingdom and just like I expected they were amazing.  I also took my picture with Mickey, Goofy, Daisey, and Donald.  I felt like a kid in a candy shop since I am a complete dork when it comes to Disney.  There are plenty of nights you can find me in the kitchen singing Disney tunes as  I cook dinner. We then ended back to Memphis Tuesday night.
    Now here is where the surprise part begins when I first found out we weren't going to be in Florida all of Spring Break I asked my boss if I could have the rest of the week off and because she is amazing and awesome she said yes.  So when I get back to my house Tuesday night around 10 I throw all of my summer clothes out the suitcase and pack more winterish stuff for Mikey and I because the next morning him and I are headed on a plane to NY to see grandma.  Well, gram knew Michael was coming but she thought my step dad Bill was bringing him (which truly was the original plan).  So needless to say when I stepped out of the car at her house on Wednesday she was more then shocked.  The look on her face was completely priceless.  :)  I love anytime I get to spend with her, she is like my second mother and holds such an important place in my heart.  Well, I will make sure to blog on Monday night or Tuesday when I get home from my trip to let you all know how it went. 

Weeks like this are such a Blessing!!!

            This past week has been a great week which I was kind of surprised about because as we all know it was Valentine's week and depending on how well you know me you know that I hate Valentine's Day.  I don't like it for a number of reasons.  Some of  them include that I feel like too much pressure is put on one day to be super romantic and why do we wait till this day to buy the one we love presents and tell them sweet stuff.  Also, I feel like it forces single people to couple up for the day and just feel sad that they don't have someone to be with. However, I will say this even with all of these reasons stated this year was probably the best Valentine's Day I have ever experienced.  I had to work during the day and all of the kids were super excited about the day and really liked the gifts I gave them so that started the day off on a great foot.  Then I came home and got ready for my night out with Roy.  We started off going to Ole Venice which when I went to the W was one of my favorite places to go whenever I was in Starkville.  So I knew there was one in Memphis and I always forget to go there so I was really excited.  I was a great dinner with great food and drinks (I highly recommend the cherry limeade martini if you ever have a chance to get one).  During dinner Roy and I exchanged gifts which if you know me you know I love gifts.  Roy had mentioned awhile ago he would like to start wearing a watch so I surprised him with a new watch.  Then Roy super surprised me with new gorgeous earrings!  I was very impressed :)  After dinner we went to the movies to see The Vow.  I loved it!  Then we drove home from Memphis just in a great deep chat.  After a quick run to Walmart to get Roy work pants we went home and fell asleep cuddled in each others arms.
         Also this week Mikey was awarded Star Student for his great behavior in class.  He got lots of cool awards including a bracelet, pencil, and school t-shirt.  Later in the week Mikey was then voted class favorite.    He will have a special spot in the yearbook so needless to say Mom, Gram, and I all purchased a yearbook this year.  We are all so proud of him.  He is such a great kid, I love him sooo much.
        Friday was a work day for me but when I got there I found out I was getting to get off early I was pretty excited.  Don't get me wrong I absolutely love my job and I honestly could stay there all day.  However, it is always nice when you get a surprise and get to leave early.  So I decided to celebrate getting off early with a haircut.  I have wanted a hair cut for a while now and finally did it!  And oh boy did I do it!  My hair has never been this short but I love it!
        To finish up the week  Roy, Mikey, and I went to the cutie pie Hartlee's birthday party at Kidz Kountry.  The party was really fun and I loved getting to see some of the girls from HLIS.  I miss them sooo much.  Even though the party was really fun the best part was when Roy, Mikey, Jessica R., Jessica R.'s brother, Jessica B., Coach P., and I all went to eat after.  It was SUCH a great time I am so glad everyone decided to come eat!  It  was the icing to an already amazing week!
      Alright well now its time to get my bootay in gear and get some housework done which I am actually excited about!  Have a great Sunday ya'll!!!!